the x-y axis for those with math-trophy.

I never would describe myself a patient person.  Of course, if need be I can sit still for long periods of time without making a peep or moving a muscle.  However, when it comes down to it, if I set out to do something I expect nearly immediate gratification.  Lucky for me, my talents tend to populate the "fairly instant" quadrant of a plane ranging from "instant" to "ready sometime next year."  This is the case with one recent craft project that I have deemed "the orcas scarf."   

Sometime last year, I think it was January, my boyfriend and I embarked on a trip to the San Juan Islands.  The San Juans are remarkably beautiful islands in the puget sound that encapsulate exactly why the pacific northwest is so special.  Orcas Island is the largest and steepest of the islands and much to my surprise contains a number of small organic farms.  On our drive back to the ferry we elected to stop off at a local farm that advertised yarn.  Lucky for me I had just recently learned to knit.  I found a perfectly beautiful hand woven turquoise skein of yarn and snapped it up.  I started knitting the yarn last September and finished it about two weeks ago in a fit of rage.  I swear, the little ball of yarn would not die.  After four days of knitting four hours a day I finally hurled the ball across the room and stayed awake until I had knitted every last inch of the yarn I had unfurled across the expanse of my apartment.  After about six hours, and six or seven episodes of vintage "Beverly Hills 90210."  I am the proud owner of a turquoise scarf knitted in the very warm and cozy seed stitch.  I am also a former knitter.  

Unlike the scarf that took me 6 (yes, that's right, SIX!) months to finish, today I started baking caramel crunch bars at 3 o'clock and by 6 I had 50 delicious little bars cut and prepared for gifts or special treats for myself after particularly successful endeavors to the gym.    

I think about the quilts my grandmother made throughout her life or the fly fishing rods my father spends hours meticulously building and I get somewhat nostalgic that I have nothing to show for myself, that I have no tangible evidence of my creative talent.  Really, though, I know myself well enough that if something drives me to throttle a perfectly harmless inanimate object across the room that I should stick to something that offers the same creative satisfaction in a fraction of the time.  Thus, I cook.  

Is it bad that I prefer the instant gratification of two hours in the kitchen with nothing to show for my efforts an hour later or is it simply fine that I choose to refrain from endeavors in the long term quadrant ensuring less arthritis in the future?   

I'm not sure.  I'll get back to you after I get home from the gym.  

seeing and saying

Ever since the moment docwong opened her mouth in my Housing Design and Sustainable Community class in January 2004 I knew I wanted to be an urban planner.   At no other point in my undergraduate studies was classroom material clearly in line with my personal interests and concerns.  Obviously, I wanted to be involved in the public sector, I just didn't know how.  In that moment, I realized that how and where a city builds its buildings and housing, juxtaposing them with environment and society, affects commerce, economy, education and a number of other political factors.  In January I finally applied to graduate school.  A lot of factors went into my decision to apply this year.  Certainly, if I did not apply this year, it would happen at some inevitable point in the future, but the cosmos aligned.  I was/am out of work, I knew I wanted to return to school and realign my personal and professional priorities, and due to a newly regained sense of confidence I was mentally prepared to undertake the process.  

I applied to six graduate programs.  Five Urban Planning programs received my application materials and one Public Administration program.   It was arduous; I'm relieved to be done applying, but now I'm partaking in the hard part-- waiting for decisions.  I am suffering on the metaphorical bench; I cannot wait to get in the game.  

What do I do to populate the time?  Well, to be honest, I deal with my favorite bureaucratic department, that which operates to serve the unemployed: UI.  Part of their job is to monitor my weekly progress and ensure that I've applied for 3 jobs.  Yes, I know three isn't that many jobs to apply for, but with approximately 6 Washington counties suffering unemployment rates in the double digits, and a statewide unemployment rate hovering around 7%, finding three jobs I'm qualified for is incredibly difficult.  I've applied to be a medical coder, a neighborhood watch person, a parking attendant, and more than 50 other positions I might like to do.  So I wait around to hear back from these positions.  And, mostly, I don't.  

So I've taken to enjoying a lot of coffee, walks, novels, perfecting recipes for crackers (rosemary, pepper, cheddar, water, etc.), knitting, running, ellipticaling, and reacquainting myself with reality television.  Am I miserable?  Not at all, I'm actually quite happy.  For now, I deem opening my mail box torment, consider job listings a necessary evil, and view my day to day an excellent opportunity to relish my surroundings.  I'm making the things I love a part of my every day life, and I love it.  I am documenting it here: weseeweare.wordpress.com.  

it ended with a chicken

tonight, during a blizzard, my father and I trussed a little five pound chicken and set it in a three hundred and fifty degree oven for two hours.  my mother and i made macaroni and cheese and prepared a salad.  is roasting a chicken an art? 

art is fundamentally the use of imagination to create something aesthetically pleasing.   But, if creativity is a human expression of life and if life is sustained with food then the preparation of a humble little chicken is indeed art.  

i am not terribly good at writing, or at photography, i can get by with a set of water colors but that is about it.  when it really comes down to it my creativity is best expressed with salt, pepper, and a myriad of other ingredients.  

tomorrow i turn twenty five and i am happy to report that while i have not perfected the art of the roast chicken, i have at least attempted in the last 6 months a number of new and exciting endeavors.  I feel like I know myself better today than i did last june, and i gather that is an art as well.  

an old friend

lately, i've been reacquainting myself with myself.    

hello, julia, how are you?  good, but i'm tired.  i can't even form sentences anymore.  

i discovered this was a problem about two weeks ago when a friend of a friend said, "that was the most vague sentence i've ever heard."  how embarrassing.  i can't blame them, my mind is mush.  i'm busy these days.  so many facts, words, and topics swell in my head that i am experiencing a significant information overload and the first thing to succumb is my speech.  losing the ability to communicate is never favorable, and it is causing self doubt like no one's business.   so, in an effort to cleanse the head, i've been shedding and it feels very good.  

it all started about a year ago.  

i contracted something called who am I and where am i going, i'm almost 25 and i'm scared to death that i haven't figured all of this out yet disease.  instead of making decisions and moving toward something (the next step, the next place, etc) i've been wallowing in a safety net of sorts.  wallowing is nice for a while but then 12 months later you're in the same place you were when the mess started and you're no less uncertain.  

two months ago i decided that i needed to dedicate more time to myself.  two years out of college and i spend no more than one night every two weeks to myself.  i admit that i'm a person who loved interaction, but i recently realized exactly how draining it is.  committing so much of my time and energy to other people has left me totally void of any knowledge of myself.  last july, last november, last february i was not able to write a description of myself that didn't involve significant discussion of my relationship to other people as opposed to my relationship to myself.  

this is significant because in the last year i've grown more than i realized and did not stop long enough to understand the significance of that growth and how it has affected me.   so, in june i decided that there are things i want to do daily, weekly, monthly to help me get to know myself again, and without making it a priority it would not happen.  so, i decided to engage in activities in a time frame i designed for myself surrounded by the people who (without fail) support and encourage me in the direction i want to go.  i bought a new computer, a new camera, rented a new apartment, wrote a list of things i want to accomplish in the short and long-term, and i'm using these tools to enhance myself and sharing them with people i love.

the 25 before 25 is still ongoing, and i am happy to report that it has both inspired and motivated me to concentrate on the things that matter most to me.  i'm consistently photographing, i strive to say one good thing about myself or my surroundings every morning or evening, i am trying to cook more and be more inventive and imaginative in the kitchen and share the fruits of my labor with friends, i'm learning to let go and share more, i am engaging in creative endeavors, i'm diversifying the scope of people i interact with, i'm applying to graduate school, deciding the next steps in my life, and most importantly i am rediscovering the characteristics and qualities i love in people and things.  and all of this feels great.

i guess what i'm saying here is that i am happier than i have been in the last year; i'm the best version of myself I can be right now and for that i am incredibly grateful.  shedding all the muck from my mind will hopefully allow me to improve communication with others eventually, as for now i'm quite content communicating with myself.  

25 things to do before i turn twenty-five

i am making this list because i operate best with direction. i'm almost 25, there are a lot of things i want to do before then, not because i have to, but because i want to. i've got the resources so why not. so, therefore, i present, a list, of 25 things i want to do before i turn twenty-five.

1. apply to grad-school

2. live on my own

3. take a photography class

4. go to the pacific north west coast (oregon, or washington)

5. visit a new state

6. participate in a collective project or exchange

7. run a 5-k

8. visit another country

9. attend one cultural community event a month

10. buy a new computer

11. take one photo a day

12. perfect the skill of roasting chicken

13. teach myself to bind books

14. spend one day every two weeks entirely alone

15. say yes to the things i am interested in; say no to things I don't want to do

16. purchase produce at all of Seattle's farmers markets and make a dish from those ingredients

17. prepare, at least, four recipes from my gastronomic publications per month

18. go on a road trip without a specific destination

19. develop a green thumb by growing an amaryllis

20. write a letter to every person I admire letting them know why

21. draw a map of my favorite places in Seattle

22. amend my outlook; say one good thing about myself/my surroundings every day

23. conquer my fear of open water, start by swimming in lake Washington

24. improve my written communication

25. Vote.

windowsills

tonight i walked over to aaron's house to help him pack up his things for his impending move. the walk was calm, and definitely a welcome change of pace from my usual thursday evening. i'm always surprised by the things i notice when i walk from the very urban capitol hill to the more residential central district. there are fewer people to be aware of and it allows me to pay closer attention to the things surrounding me. i love how i quiet down and breathe more when i'm walking through neighborhoods' quiet side streets, and I think about how much i miss having that solitude around me. i tend to regain a proper sense of equilibrium simply by seeing flowers crawling up the sides of fences, spindly, hollow trees and the detailed paint-jobs of the houses lining the blocks. and, i also notices, I sort of love seeing the peculiar knicky-knacky things people keep in their windowsills. one house had ten to fifteen varieties of blue glass in their front window sill, framed from the outside by four perfectly periwinkle seats arranged on the porch—it was such a happy sight. And then I kept noticing more and more another house had a collection of birdcages, and there were others with flowers, glasses, boxes and picture frames.

I’ve been looking around for a good photo project, and you know what, I think I’ve found it!

things

this weekend is seriously bi-polar.  yesterday was the most beautiful day i've seen in six months.  the temperature, the smell, the way the sun shined on my shoulders, goodness, it was so perfect.  and today, rain.  seriously, seattle, again, don't you get tired of this?

despite the weather's decision to muck-it-up, i've had a pretty fulfilling string of days.  friday after work i spent some quality time with the co-workers following a long week and to properly punctuate the evening aaron and i spent the remainder of the evening with his friends mike and eleanora.  we shared delightful conversation, many bottles of wine, delicious food, and songs around a table fit for four.  honestly one of the more memorable evenings i've had in quite a while.  

saturday i went with megan to david's bridal for a bridesmaid gown fitting.  david's bridal is a funny little franchise and it does funny little things to people who are normally of a joyful and positive demeanor.  following the fitting, we decided on brunch, i'm glad i recommended megan take the mlk exit off of i-5 north because what we discovered was an entire part of seattle we didn't even know existed.  following the lightrail path all the way to alaska junction where we turned right on rainier for a brunch of delicious herbed eggs and perfect cream biscuits at Geraldine's Counter.  If you're the brunch type, you'd be a fool not to try this place out.  it is perfection, complete with delightful bright fiesta-ware, sunny orange walls and lots of natural light.  Yay for Geraldine's!  

anne and i are in cahoots along with our cameras to launch a new web project to share our visionary perceptions of the world.  we still do not have a theme except that we're not incorporating faces.  so, i placed my order for a new cannon digital slr this morning and cannot wait to get started on the project, it's going to be fantastic.  the address shall be released shortly.  as for this week, i'm going to work incredibly hard on self-motivation during the work day, patient adherence to yoga instruction in the early evenings, and lots of adventurous vegetable cooking after that.  I think i'm in the mood for another lentil soup creation.  either that or some sort of recipe from my most recent gourmet magazine.  also, i'm getting on the grad-school wagon by reaching out to the far reaches of the world for advice.  if you have any please let me know!